... because I want to!" She said.
"Who are you?" He asked.
"God dammed stoner Caterpillar." Alice swore. "Pot's fried your little
"What?" He asked.
"How. Do. I. Grow. Big." She demanded.
"Because if you don't tell me then I'm going to smash your bong, burn your
pot and then bitch-slap you." Alice said impatiently.
"Whoa. Look, I'll tell you anything that you want, But only if you do
something for me?" The Caterpillar said.
"What's that?" Alice asked.
"Could you umm let me play with your feet?" He asked.
"What?" She asked dumbfounded.
"I have a thing for feet." He replied.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay." Alice said.
"I kind of want to lick them, fondle them et cetra." Said the Caterpillar.
Alice sighed. The bloated stoner-worm really did disgust her but she didn't
have a ton of options at this point. "Fine, but you better keep up your end
of the bargain or there is going to be trouble."
"SWEET!!! Sit here." The Caterpillar indicated a Mushroom that was growing
near his own.
Alice climbed atop a smaller toadstool, then climbed another to get atop of
the one indicated by the Caterpillar. Alice kicked off her shoes and then