...he most compassionate act she ever saw. They got married later that same year. Stan's father (Jack) wasn't able to attend the wedding so he had a fake father ("Grandpa" Smith) come to the wedding and pose as his real father for 20 years.
He constantly carries (and often uses at inappropriate times) two Glock 17s. He also owns an AR-15, Mac10, a "pen gun", MK 5, and what he calls a "sword gun" (a mix of a Glock 17 and a kitchen knife), all of which are stored in his wife's spice pantry, who does not seem to notice them. He stores weapons in random places around the house. During a mock robbery, Stan screams, "Hayley! Get the gun from the China cabinet!"
He is also allergic to shellfish .
mentioned that one of the other pranksters was too stupid to read the story through. Because the school is named after John DeLorean, who was born Michigan, it is likely that Stan is from Michigan. In "The Best Christmas Story Never", it is revealed that Stan lived in New York in 1970.
In 1985, Stan, then a college student, met his future wife Francine. She was hitch-hiking and Stan gave her a ride. As he was driving, he accidentally ran over a raccoon, which he shot and killed to put it out of its misery, and Francine thought was that it was the most compassionate act she ever saw. They got married later that same year. Stan's father (Jack) wasn't able to attend the wedding so he had a...