...ch Stan almost passed on to his son. This belief led to a life-long love of hobbies, including gun cleaning and wood burning. Stan also collects commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint.
Stan attended John DeLorean High School in the late 1970s and early 1980s. A very unpopular student, Stan was scrawny and had horrible acne, which caused him to be nicknamed "The Penis". He got pranked by the popular students while at the prom by being crushed by falling pigs which was a parody of Carrie, where she got showered by pig's blood--even a student mentioned that one of the other pranksters was too stupid to read the story through. Because the school is named after John DeLorean, who was born Michigan, it is likely that Stan is from Michigan. In "The Best Christmas Story Never", it is revealed that Stan lived in New York in 1970.
In 1985, Stan, then a college student, met his future wife Francine. She was hitch-hiking and Stan gave her a ride. As he was driving, he accidentally ran over a raccoon, which he shot and killed to put it out of its misery, and Francine thought was that it was the most compassionate act she ever saw. They got married later that same year. Stan's father (Jack) wasn't able to attend the wedding so he had a fake father ("Grandpa" Smith) come to the wedding and pose as his real father for 20 years.
He constantly carries (and often uses at inappropriate times) two Glock 17s. He also owns an AR-15, Mac10, a "pen gun", MK 5, and what he calls a...