...u? You've been talking nonstop for a while now."
"Eh? No way! Hinata wouldn't hang up on me! Hinata's nice! You didn't hang up on me, did you, Hinata?"
"N-no," She managed, already half dead from Naruto talking about her sex life for the past several minutes.
"See, Sai? She did not hang up! Owned!" There was a pause. "Hey, Hinata? You wanna know a secret?"
"'Kay I lied, it's two secrets! First," He lowered his voice and attempted to whisper into the phone. "I'm drunk. Shhhhh. Don't tell Sai. If he finds out he's the only sober one, he's gonna keeeeeeel us. I think he might be on to us, though."
"Sai, you're hot," Lee professed in the background as if to prove Naruto's point.
"Second, I'm a virgin. Are you a virgin Hinata?"
"Eep!" Hinata choked out.
"Yeah, being a virgin sucks," Naruto agreed with Hinata's sound as though it had be some profound insight, nodding sagely even though she couldn't see it through the phone. "I wanna have sex with Sakura, but she's never going to. But I don't wanna die a virgin! That would be so sad! Hinata, will you have sex with me? Virgins need to stick together, right? I think-"
Hinata pulled the phone receiver from her ear and blinked at it. Naruto had just hung up on her. She took a moment to wipe the film of sweat off of the ...